What's slowing YOU down?

Let’s talk about hidden commitments.

Welcome to the SPS Newsletter.

"You can't escape from a prison until you recognize you are in one. People who have chosen to live within the limits of their old beliefs continue to have the same experiences. It takes effort and commitment to break old patterns.”

— Bob Proctor

Let's dive into hidden commitments

Wait, Stephen WTF is a hidden commitment?

Simply put, a hidden commitment is a subconscious belief or behaviour that undermines your conscious goals.

For example, you might want to increase your revenue in your business but unconsciously believe that making more money is greedy.

Or you may have a hidden commitment to always putting others’ needs before your own.

You may constantly say yes to too many requests and end up at social and professional events that waste your time. Or, you might say yes to tasks that don't align with your goals.

All this can lead to burnout and frustration.

How did it show up in my life?

As a kid, I showed a bit of skill in playing chess.

But once my teachers and parents recognized this and tried to encourage me, I stopped playing.

As a teenager, I showed talent with cross-country running.

But once my teachers and parents recognized this and tried to encourage me, I gave up.

As a young man, I showed potential in one of my first jobs.

But once my manager and peers recognized this and encouraged me to advance, I self-sabotaged in an interview.

The interview was a gimme. But I somehow turned a firm yes into a no.

For the first time, my hidden commitment to my fear of success caused me regret and embarrassment.

I loved being the centre of attention.

I loved being important and leading people.

But I didn’t love being in a position where there were high expectations of me.

Now I thrive on that sh*t. To help get over this trait, I put myself in uncomfortable situations and overcame this self-sabotaging BS.

But in my 20s these types of failures added to my cycle of try>fail>party.

I kept hitting hurdles.

I kept running away to party.

I kept myself trapped in a negative loop.

It wasn’t until I got fed up with the metaphorical scars on my shins from hitting dozens of hurdles that I decided enough was enough.

I knew I had to rid myself of self-sabotaging hidden commitments.

Hidden commitments are powerful obstacles to overcome.

Because they operate below the level of conscious awareness. They are difficult to recognize and address and typically f**k you in key moments.

How do you identify your hidden commitments?

The process that worked for me was to look at patterns of behaviour that consistently undermined my goals.

You need to look for those key moments when you stop yourself from success.

This can be a shitty process. You have to face your darker moments. You have to be willing to be truthful with yourself.

The good news here is: All progress starts by telling the truth.

Let’s look at the process of dealing with your hidden commitments.

Once you've identified a hidden commitment. It's important to examine the commitment critically and ask yourself:

How are they holding you back?

Is this hidden commitment a rational or limiting belief?

What actions and behaviours show up because of this hidden commitment?

Once you’ve done that, it's time to take action.

I found these 5 strategies helpful in defeating my hidden commitments:

1. Reflect on your thoughts and behaviours:

Take some time to journal or meditate on your hidden commitments and actions.

Ask yourself why you are doing what you are doing. What underlying beliefs or assumptions are driving your actions.

The first step to improvement is always bringing awareness to the problems.

2. Realign your conscious and subconscious goals:

Identify the conscious goals being undermined by your hidden commitments.

Examine whether those goals are what you want. If they are, make a conscious effort to align your subconscious beliefs and behaviours with your conscious goals.

In other words, align your actions - beliefs - goals.

3. Challenge your beliefs:

Ask yourself if the beliefs behind your commitments are serving you and helping you achieve your goals.

If not, what new beliefs or assumptions could you adopt?

What would better support your growth and success?

Create a plan that allows you to prevent self-sabotage.

4. Take action:

Once you have identified your hidden commitments and challenged your limiting beliefs, it's time to take action.

Start small by making changes to your daily habits. Develop new behaviours that align with your new beliefs. Don't change everything all at once and overwhelm yourself.

Remember to celebrate your successes and learn from your failures.

5. Get support:

Changing hidden commitments can be challenging.

Especially if they have been deeply ingrained over time. Or if you have toxic habits you use to self-sabotage.

Consider working with a performance coach. Sign up for sessions with a therapist. Or join a community that can help you identify and overcome these obstacles.

Don't fight difficult battles alone.

Remember, doing less dumb shit is how you make progress in life.

A sign that a hidden commitment is slowing you down is an uptake of the amount of dumb shit you do.

Ultimately, the key to changing your hidden commitments is to be aware of them.

Replacing negative beliefs with positive ones is not always easy. But it is possible with practice and persistence.

Take action today to start changing your hidden commitments and achieve your desired success.

Big love,

ST