Episode 68: Defeating Solomon's Paradox: How to win the You vs You battle
Let's discuss defeating Solomon's Paradox: How to win the You vs You battle
Welcome to the SPS Podcast
The wisest counsel is often offered to others, not ourselves.
Have you ever experienced this?
When a friend asks you for advice about their business... you suddenly become Rick Rubin or Mark Cuban...
And drop some sage advice...
But when you think about your own business and performance...
Your ideas are poor... and your actions are limited.
You often think to yourself... "I'm smarter than this... why do I repeat the same mistakes and don't take my own advice."
This describes the psychological phenomenon called Solomon's Paradox.
In short... it works like this...
We're excellent at giving helpful and rational advice to others. But terrible at giving the same helpful and rational advice to ourselves.
Solomon's Paradox is why:
ā€¢ Coaches struggle to coach themselves
ā€¢ Writers struggle to edit their own books
ā€¢ Therapists often need therapy themselves
This happens because...
You're too close to you and your whole story... you know too much about yourself...
When you think about yourself, you don't listen to one piece of information... you reference your whole wiki page... all the pain... all the limiting beliefs... and what Billy, the school bully, said to you during Math class in October 1986.
But... when it comes to someone else's problem...
You don't reference their full personal wiki page... you focus on the facts of the situation they are describing... without all the emotional junk they associate with it.
Here's the truth...
Most of your challenges aren't all that difficult... you know there are people not as smart as you... who have solved more difficult challenges than you're facing right now.
The thing is...
They figured out a way to get help outside of their own head... followed steps that worked... and put in the work.
When you don't do that...
You remain stuck in the paradox... you can't avoid it... you can't outthink yourself.
You end up...
-> Frustrated... you think... "Why is this so difficult?"
-> Stuck in a loop... "I've run my business for years... why am I still making this mistake?"
-> Wasting time and energy... "Why does every project drain me so much?"
You overthink. You overcomplicate. You torture yourself with nothing positive to show for it.
I know from helping over 30 business owners over the last 3 years...
This is what keeps many of you stuck... you vs you... and you keep beating you.
My friend and coach, Torrey Dawley, introduced me to this paradox. (I have 100% stole it from him as a coaching tool)
He explains that Salomon's Paradox is also... what separates people who get what they want from people who don't.
In his words...
"You don't trust yourself to actually pull off the great thing you want to do. So you'd rather keep it a secret and pluck away at it slowly in a "safe" place."
If you understand this paradox... you start to realize why...
-> Unwritten books stay unwritten for an entire lifetime.
-> Business ideas that would make you millions never launch.
-> Life-changing relationships never blossom because you're scared to open up to people.
In short...
Solomon's Paradox is the destroyer of dreams.
And... yet... it's the easiest mental roadblock to remove.
You only need to do one thing...
Ask for help from someone you trust... then do what they say.
I've worked with some of the top coaches in the field of performance and every one of them had a coach...
Why?
They understood the importance of feedback and outside perspectives. It's the only way to defeat Solomon's Paradox.
They invested in great coaches... proven systems... and powerful programs.
If you do these same things. If you can believe in yourself enough. If you back yourself to win...
You'll untangle the massive ball of mental yarn you're trapped in.
You'll start to see a clearer path forward... and transform that mental and emotional pain into peak performance.
Sounds good... right?
Stephen links:
Future You Matrix:
https://www.stephentimoney.com/future-you
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Big love,
ST
Fan of defeating Solomon's Paradox
